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Based on this self-view acquired in your early childhood, you have learnt to present yourself in the outer world in a manner that’s inconsistent with your authentic self. Consequently, this constantly creates an inner conflict within yourself, resulting from the internal fight between your imposed false self-image and your true self. Therefore, it’s important to become aware and identify the features that present your false sense of self on which you ordinarily act in life. Once you recognise this, you can learn how to overcome your self-image issues, improve your self-esteem, and express your true self openly in the world.
Here is a description of the most common personality traits that create a false sense of self and poor self-esteem, interfering with human happiness and success in life. The description of these personality traits is accompanied by practical ways of getting rid of these self-imposed masks and finding your true self-worth.
To improve your self esteem, don’t forget to practice self love!
Often perfectionists can be obsessed with what they’ve done and, therefore, will feel tense and anxious; and will take life too seriously. By putting so much pressure on themselves to do everything perfectly, they’re not on the right path to self-fulfilment and self-realisation but on the path to burnout.
Perfectionism demands that a person’s work is flawless and perfect, as anything else is unacceptable for them. It’s either black or white: either they’re perfect, or they’re a failure. Holding on to the belief to be perfect is self-destructive and soul-destroying.
The need to be perfect is based on the fear that if they don’t succeed in all their endeavours, they’re not good enough. Perfectionists can’t accept that they’re good enough as they are with all their imperfections and flaws. They always find mistakes no matter how well they’re doing or how well they’ve done their work.
The perfectionist’s main focus is on the achievement and the outcome and not on the process itself. Therefore, they’re not really enjoying what they’re doing. Because perfectionists have ambitious goals and expectations, which are often unrealistic, they’ll never feel that they’ve achieved enough. These unrealistic goals make their feelings of inadequacy and incompetence even worse.
Procrastinating may affect their professional success, as well as their relationships with others. It may then result in causing stress, a sense of guilt, loss of productivity, and social disapproval for not meeting one’s responsibilities.
Perfectionism and procrastination are very closely related; perfectionism often underlies the fear of failure. If parents’ expectations are too high that no one could live up to them, procrastination might take place to derail parental expectations and standards. Fear of success can be another possible reason for procrastination. For example, if one’s success opens the door to higher expectations, one can procrastinate because s/he is fearful that if they do well, then next time, even more would be expected of them.
Another set of issues that can underlie procrastinating behaviour can be rebellion and resistance. Delaying tactics can be a form of rebellion against imposed schedules or high standards and expectations. If people are rebelling against their parents, then they’ve allowed their parents to have a great deal of power in their life – probably more than they really want.
If you think you might be a procrastinator, you need to regain your own power and decide what you want for your life. Don’t just react to someone else’s decisions for your life.
Remember that perfectionism fuels procrastination; it places too much pressure on you. Allow yourself to be imperfect with the next task. You can always revise your work later.
Using ‘should’ statements might generate resistance toward the task at hand. Instead of thinking about how you ‘should’ do the tasks, focus on what could be done based on your perspective and your own choice. Considering this, you may try to replace the statement ‘I should’ with ‘I choose.’
For example, you may say to yourself, ‘I choose to start this task with a small, imperfect step. While doing this, I’ll enjoy the process, feeling great inside and having plenty of time for fun!’
Importantly, don’t forget to intersperse rewards, relaxation, and gratification for completing your work.
Find more tips on how to improve your self-esteem and find your self-worth in the life-changing book Another Way of Living: A Journey to Infinite Peace, Immense Joy and True Freedom (Book 1) by Dr Snezhana Djambazova-Popordanoska, MD, PhD.